Email Marketer Problems

Nobody:

Email marketers at 2am:

Checking if that campaign hit spam

Boss: "Just send it to everyone"

Me: *screaming internally about list segmentation*

How it started: "We just need to send a few emails"

How it's going: 14 DNS records, 3 authentication protocols, and a warmup schedule

ESP dashboard: "99% delivered!"

Gmail: *laughs in Promotions tab*

Me: "We need to sunset inactive subscribers"

Marketing VP: "But that's 40% of our list!"

Me: "Exactly."

POV: You just learned that 'delivered' and 'inbox' are different things

The email looked perfect in Litmus

The email in Outlook 2019: complete chaos

"Can you just add a quick dynamic field?"

5 hours of nested conditional logic later

SPF record: 10 lookup limit

My SPF record: "Hold my includes"

Client: "Our emails are going to spam"

Me: "When did you last clean your list?"

Client: "What do you mean 'clean'?"

"We bought a list of 50,000 contacts"

Deliverability team: *starts updating resume*

DMARC set to p=none since 2019

Company: "We have DMARC!"

Sigil: "Do you though?"

Marketing: "Send it now!"

Deliverability: "The IP isn't warmed up"

Marketing: "What's warmup?"

Open rate: 85%

Apple Mail Privacy Protection: "You're welcome"

Therapist: "Blocklists can't hurt you"

Spamhaus: *enters chat*